


Through the Looking Glass

by tangerine (arte)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Hopeful Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Coda, Cracky sometimes, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Episode: s07e17 The Born-Again Identity, Gen, How Do I Tag, Multi-Cas, Season/Series 07, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-01
Updated: 2015-03-01
Packaged: 2018-03-15 17:34:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3455855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arte/pseuds/tangerine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Castiel," Lucifer says somberly. "You need better insult than that. I'm ashamed of you."</p><p>"Many are," Castiel agrees easily. He continues to draw on the ground, hospital bracelet hanging loosely on his right wrist. "But I wasn't trying to insult you."</p><p> <br/>Lucifer wakes up in Castiel's mind after the angel fell into a self-induced coma. The mental takeover doesn't go in a way that Lucifer has anticipated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Through the Looking Glass

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by this here: http://daisy4days.tumblr.com/post/111819005530/there-had-been-so-many-different-types-of-cas-that#notes
> 
> Thanks you days4daisy for giving such wonderful idea :)

Not many entities experience being transferred from one conscience to another, and as such cannot offer an opinion on what it feels like. Lucifer, being an expert in this small but very important field, can confidently say that it's like being yanked through a straw by a particularly cluless vacumm cleaner. In other words, it's not pleasant at all. 

Lucifer had gotten very indignant at this treatment, of course. He hadn't deserve it. He had made his displeasure known by instilling terror into the little angel with his grand appearance. 

He hadn't known that Castiel was such a wuss. 

Throughly spooked, Castiel had responded by violently shutting down his outward connection to his vessel. This had resulted in Lucifer being slammed down into a mental ground, hard. 

_So rude_ , Lucifer thinks as he brushes off a clingy grass from his pants. He'll just have to repay Castiel's hospitality. It'll be only expected of him. Surely, Castiel didn't think that he could get away with kicking Lucifer out of his nice slumming place?

Lucifer climbs up to his feet and looks around his surroundings. Castiel's inner place is predominantly blue and green. The sky is bright and sunny with a lone kite swaying in the air, and grass is everywhere, spreading out for miles. One could mistake this place for a botanical garden, what with trees, shrubs and flowers from all around the world growing freely. It looks disgustingly peaceful. 

Lucifer waves his hand to warp the scenery, and frowns when it does nothing. It seems Castiel has far more control of his inner place than Lucifer has expected. Had it been only luck that he had managed to scare Castiel on the topside? Or is the angel getting a home ground advantage here? Either way, it does nothing to elevate Lucifer's mood.

No matter, he can simply go straight to verbally flaying Castiel. Not being able to get unlimited access to Castiel's memory, and not being able to remember everything he had gleaned from Sam certainly makes the situation more challenging - damn the jarring angel transfer - but maybe this is what he needs. After all, the last couple of hours in Sammy Land had been almost too easy.

He looks around some more, searching for something that can work to his advantage. Without much effort, his eyes are drawn to a large oak tree. Its size alone makes it stand out, but the barren ground around it makes it an eye sore admist all the green. 

_Oh, and look what we have here,_ Lucifer thinks as he recognizes a bundle of beige under the tree. He begins to approach his target with a spring in his steps.

However, the closer he gets to Castiel, the more disappointed he becomes. The little seraph is curled up like he wants to disappear all together, knees drawn, face hidden behind his sleeve, practically swimming under his too big tranch coat and white hospital clothes. He's drawing absent lines on the ground.

A kicked puppy shivering inside a sewer would look less pathetic than him. 

This is a card of house already blown over. There's nothing to trample, nothing to play with. Even Sam, nothing but a puny human in the end, had more spirit than this. 

Disgruntled, Lucifer wipes whatever Castiel has been drawing with his foot. The angel freezes for a second, hand hovering uncertainly. Then, without raising his head, he scoots back a bit and resumes drawing. It's nothing fancy, just rows and rows of rectangles. 

It's getting on his nerves. 

So Lucifer employs a simple method to shut down his source of irritation, which is to step on Castiel's hand. Not hard enough to break his fingers, not yet. He only intends to still them for now.

"Castiel, where are your manners? Is that how you treat all your guests?"

The angel's eyes finally flickers upward. "Hello, Lucifer," he greets obediently.

Lucifer narrows his eyes. He contemplates crushing the delicate bones anyway, but decides to save that for later. He enjoyes foreplay. He releases his prisoner and sits down next to him.

"So, Castiel, did you miss me?"

"I don't know," says Castiel, his fingers twitching to wander around the ground again. They peek from the sleeve like little thieves, darting in and out. They are begging to be caught. _Not yet,_ Lucifer decides. "I don't remember you much."

Is it dismissal he's hearing? He hopes so. He likes some attitude in the beginning.

"Really?" he feigns a hurt tone. "But I thought I made a quiet impression on you. You practically _burst_ into tears when we last met." Voice lowered, he adds, "Can I make you cry again?"

Castiel blinks and shrugs. "That's your choice. But you have to be quiet. You're a bad angel."

 _A bad angel._ Lucifer blinks. For the first time in his existence, he's doubting what he's hearing. Castiel had said the phrase so earnestly, like it's a sacred line that should never be crossed, but- 

_Really?_

Arrogant, horrendous, monster, abomination, filth. Of all the insults that could be thrown at his way, _a bad angel_? 

Are they in a kindergarten?

Even for Lucifer, who usually tallies up every single offense against him to dole out fitting punishments, this one is almost too embarrassing to count.

"Castiel," Lucifer says somberly. "You need better insult than that. I'm ashamed of you."

"Many are," Castiel agrees easily. He continues to draw on the ground, hospital bracelet hanging loosely on his right wrist. "But I wasn't trying to insult you."

"Ah, is that it? Now I see some potential," Lucifer snaps his finger brightly. "Insisting that you're not being insulting when you are. Classic. _I'm not trying to be offensive, I just think you don't deserve anything._. Piss the hell out of people, yet you're miraculously excused. I think you should go for that route instead of trying to increase the range of your vocabulary. I remember the _assbutt_."

"I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to be insulting," Castiel pauses and gives him a little smile. "Can I draw you something to apologize?"

Lucifer ignores him. It appears what he has assumed to be an attitude is actually a true ignorance, but he has no interest in a doormat. Witty banter is the core of for entertaining torture, and no one is going to deprive him of that. If he has to teach _How to Out-Sass Satan 101_ to do get what he wants, so be it. House of cards can always be rebuilt.

Who knows, perhaps he might be even able to get the little angel to actually trust him and smash that trust in one go. _Et tu, Brutus_ moment if you will. Lucifer gets excited at the prospect. He could never pull that off with Sammy. He had always been so suspicious.

"Remember, the expression is the key," Lucifer instructs patiently. Deciding it'd be faster to show than tell, he puts his hand above his heart and wears mask of innocent surprise mixed with righteous disbelief. "Good Gracious, how can you accuse me of such thing? I was just telling you God honest truth."

Castiel doesn't respond. He's not even looking at Lucifer. His wide eyes are fixed over something over the archangel's shoulder. Frowning, Lucifer turns and, finds that the entire field below the hill is now filled to the brim with angels, a sea of black and white among the green. They look sickeningly orderly.

But there is an anomaly. At the farthest point from the oak tree, there is a smidge of beige.

Another Castiel. 

This one is wearing a proper suit under his trench coat, holding himself with an air of certainty that he _is_ above everyone.

 _A peacock_ , the thought immediately pops into Lucifer's mind. The image of Castiel with a peacock's tail tickles him, but it isn't enough to stop him from getting curious about why there are two images of Castiel.

Angels are notorious control freaks when it comes to their mind, and no one would tolerate two versions of themselves running amok. Not that it would do them any harm, but it would still be against their nature. _Peculiar thing,_ Lucifer muses, and then, the other Castiel moves.

He doesn't look menacing at all as he sedately starts to walk toward the tree. Only, with each step he takes, the angels around him bursts into white light, scream filling the air. The bodies topple and wings burn the grass black, morbid domino tiles piling steadily.

Lucifer whistles. "You're giving me the chill, Castiel." The angel beside him bows his head and curls up tighter, shivering.

Finally, the other Castiel reaches them, expression untouched and serene. "Castiel, it's time for you to receive your punishment," he proclaims loftily.

Lucifer cocks his head at the proclamation. Castiel is broken, no doubt to that, but Lucifer hadn't cared for the reason behind the brokenness. He had just wanted to sass up the angel enough to make him entertaining. He hadn't planned to _fix_ him. But if this self-punishment fantasy is anything to go buy, Castiel had pretty much shattered himself by himself, and will continue to do so. At this rate, if Lucifer let things be, there's not going to be enough left for him. Dear Dad, can't an angel enjoy torturing in his own pace? 

He hates that he can't simply skip town and find another victim.

"Back off," Lucifer stands up and intervenes grudgingly. "Find your own toy. I didn't even get to start with him."

The other Castiel looks at him as if he's just noticing his presence. "Lucifer, wait for your turn. You shall also receive your punishment."

Lucifer feels his lips curve up. My, my. Maybe he should just let this one break the pathetic one and play with him exclusively. "Ooh, bold words coming from a little Seraph."

Castiel tilts his chin up. "You're mistaken. I am God."

And Lucifer had thought that there was a limit to the level of insanity one could reach.

"Castiel, I'm impressed." Lucifer looks down at the one crumbled under him. "Maintaining zero self-esteem and delusion of grandeur at the same time. That requires some mental gymnastic."

"He is not I," says the Delusional Castiel. "He is a traitor, the last one of them. I have to punish him as severely as I have done to Raphael and his followers."

Lucifer lifts his brow. Although he holds no love for Raphael, Raphael is still his brother, and this little angel has no right to look down on an Archangel. "Nice fantasy, Castiel, but I think Archangels are too big for you to swallow."

Castiel smiles quietly, eyes amused as if seeing a pup boldly declaring that it can win against a tiger.

"I'll deal with you later, Lucifer. Stand still and be quiet."

 _Oh, Castiel_ , Lucifer opens his mouth, but finds his voice gone and his body frozen solid. His eyes, one of only things that still responds to his command, open wide in disbelief. The self-proclaimed God turns his back on Lucifer without a care. Humiliation and fury wash over Lucifer, so great that the only thing that buzzes in his mind is the image of tearing apart Castiel limb to limb. _Why that little peacock,_ he seethes. _You'll pay for this._

The Peacock ignores Lucifer completely, focusing on his counterpart. He stoops to tilt Castiel's chip up with a crook of a finger. Castiel looks up at him dazedly.

"Castiel, my child. Confess your sins."

The Peacock is really buying into his act. The holier-than-thou attitude just _begs_ for every bone in his body to be broken. 

Castiel, meek as a sacrificial lamb, quietly says, "I deserve to die."

"Of course, but not so easily," the Peacock smiles, all fatherly and far away. "Confess your sins."

"I-," Castiel falters. "I don't think I can-"

"You can't even speak of it. Because you're weak."

Castiel closes his eyes. He doesn't answer.

"Then I'll tell you," the Peacock cups Castiel's cheek, half pulling him up with his strength. For some unfathomable reason, this makes Castiel's shoulders sag. The angel, for all his appearance, is just a useless sack of potato right now.

"You lied, you cheated, you killed. Every decision you made was wrong. You set out to save everyone, and destroyed everything. Thousands of angels are dead, and so are hundreds of humans. Your arrogance made you silent, and doomed you to be loathed by everyone. You broke Sam Winchester's wall, betrayed Dean Winchester in the worst possible way. Your stupidity made others pay. That's what you can't speak of, isn't it?"

Castiel shivers, eyes falling to the ground. He looks as if someone has lifted a huge weight off his shoulder. "Yes."

The Peacock pets the angel as if it's a dim, but adorable animal. The next second, he is viciously digging his fingers at the back of Castiel's neck. The sudden pain makes Castiel's eyes flutter open.

With the full attention of his subject, the Peacock smiles benevolently. "Castiel, you do deserve punishment, but you're repenting for all the wrong reasons."

Like a child who had his gifts ripped off from his hands, Castiel says, "I don't understand."

"I know what you regret most - your betrayal to the Winchesters. And this is where you're wrong," the other Castiel's voice is firm, like an arrow pointing to inevitable end. "Your error lies in putting them first, above Heaven and above Humanity. Above you. You should have put them down the moment they bared their fangs at you. I know they were your favorite pets-"

"They're my friends!" Castiel denies with uncharacteristic burst of strength. Lucifer raises his brow. Maybe it would be worthwhile afterall to spend some time with the little bird. He might be able to coax the angel into showing some spirit by mentioning those brothers.

The Peacock promptly backhands the angel for his disrespect. Castiel crumbles to the ground at the force behind the blow.

With no change to his expression, the Peacock continues, "You were nothing but a tool to them, and you behaved exactly like one. You disgust me." He doesn't hiss, or raises his voice. He speaks everything as if his every word is the truth and the final judgement. "You let yourself get distracted by sentimentality. Your hesitation allowed Raphael's army to thrive and sinners to roam the Earth. Do you understand?"

Castiel remains crumbled on the ground, but curls up tighther. He doesn't say anything.

The Peacock yanks the angel's up by his hair. "I won't grant you easy death Castiel. You dared kill me." 

For the first time since his appearance, serenity that has surrounded the Peacock is gone. His narrowed eyes glint marvolently and his power crackles the air. Castiel doesn't cower before him. He is simply limp and unresponsive.

Disgusted, the Peacock lets go of Castiel.

"I'll let you wallow in your misery for a little while. Think carefully."

**Author's Note:**

> Lucifer in this story is Hallucifer, a piece of archangel grace that grew up in Sam's mind and got moved into Cas' mind. His memory is clearest during s4 and s5, and the rest is kind of blurry. I wanted to clarify since this story would be from Lucifer pov and is therfore hard to explain this thing x)


End file.
